Thoughts

"‎'the worst part about being lied to is knowing you're not worth the truth.'" How great of a quote is that? I came across it on facebook yesterday, as one of my friends status' for the day. It brings so many different thoughts and emotions to mind. Has he lied to me? Possibly. Has he lied by ommission? Most likely. It hurts to know that I'm not worth the truth, but it will hurt to know the truth as well. It seems as though it's a lose-lose situation. I won't be coming out a winner here. There's something going on that he won't tell me or talk to me about. I can tell because I know him. He changes.

It's been a rough weekend-there have been many tears shed and thoughts running through my mind. Where exactly to begin?! I was told that I was the best thing for someone, but that they can't and maybe never will commit to me. I was told that they care about me so so much, and that they love me, but that they can't be with me, at least not right now. It's so hard to hear that and not be completely heartbroken. That's exactly where I am...heartbroken. I'm in love with someone, who is my best friend, who I share a child with, and who is everything I've ever wanted in a man, but will never be committed to that person. Do I walk away and be unhappy? Do I stick around and be unhappy? I don't want to give up one him because I hope that one day he will realize that I'm the one, but I also thinks he already knows it and is just afraid. I tried to get all my feelings down in a letter to him, but will probably never give it to him. He's in enough inner turmoil without me adding to it.

AAAAAHHHHH! I'd just like to scream! It might make me feel better....